How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
