I didn't shave. On purpose
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
