So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
