Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
