please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
