If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
