unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
