I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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