I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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