you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I look better un-naked...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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