Tell her she can't have a vagina
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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