whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize