If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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