You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
