You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
