I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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