ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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