Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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