Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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