you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I will be naked everywhere
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
