this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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