Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
