Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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