They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
