she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
