If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
