so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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