Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize