You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
