Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
