No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think i just lost a toe
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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