I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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