I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
