Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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