I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
