At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We just shotgunned beers for America
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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