As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
