Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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