I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
