I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
