Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
