It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
