That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
