Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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