real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
