Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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