Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
should my penis look like a turkey
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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