he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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