Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
