Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
