I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
