My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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