I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I am morally bankrupt
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
