The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
