Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
