i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
