So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
