yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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