apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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