This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
