Porn is love you can see.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
