Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize