Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
