So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Boobs speak an international language.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
