why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
