No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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