A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just cut my nipple shaving
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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