try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
