4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize