Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize