Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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