make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
