Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
