Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize